Possibly the defining event of gamer culture is the midnight launch event. While not unique in the world of entertainment (high profile movies are known to do midnight showings, though the practice is fairly rare), game launches are truly a unique event. This is where you find the hardest of the hardcore, the kids who are skipping school tomorrow to play a new game or the adults who are eschewing their daytime personas as businesspeople or laborers and letting their inner geek shine through. The launch of a new game is when all the greatest personalities come out, so join me as we run through a list of people you see at the launch party. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll realize you are one of these people and then cry some more, but it'll be fun, and next time you show up at a launch you can print this article out and bring it along as a handy checklist.

The Center of Attention
This particular partygoer is usually among the first in line, and always the happiest to be there. The individual in question normally happily greets everyone else who shows up in line with a high-five and a cheerful welcome, and likes to regale others in line around him or her with obscure and little known facts about the game they're all waiting on. Sure, the "inside information" usually consists of fairly well-known nuggets to anyone who watches G4 or reads Kombo, but our subject's heart is in the right place and you can't fault him for trying. Try to stand in line near this person if at all possible, as it makes the whole experience much more pleasant.

The Otaku Nut with Way Too Much Inappropriate Content
Next on our hit parade is that guy in line who seems to know way too much about Japan and will gladly talk your ear off about obscure anime series you've never even heard of, likely because they've never made it off the shores of Japan. Of course, for every "amazing" show he tells you about he's got a handy clip ready to pull up on his iPod, PSP or other form of handheld technology that he keeps with him in his backpack which closely resembles a traveling Circuit City. This individual's love of the obscure and inappropriate likely won't stop at Japanese culture though, as he normally also has the full soundtrack to Spamalot, Avenue Q and any other musical/movie that features a song about sexually transmitted diseases or extreme violence. This guy is usually fun to hang out with if you're in high school, but if you happen to be older than 16 or living somewhere other than your parents' house then you'd best steer clear.

The Overly Affectionate Couple
This is every launch party's worst nightmare, the couple who basically whiles away the hours before the launch sucking face and committing acts which just generally make everyone around them uncomfortable. It would be one thing if they were really hot and having sex right there on the sidewalk, but that's never the case. Rather, both are somewhat homely, and the kiss with such fervor that it leads you to believe that if they ever stop making out they may just get a good look at each other and realize what a horror the other is. If you feel an overwhelming urge to punch both these individuals right in the head, that's totally normal, though you should probably still try to refrain from actually doing it. Though in reality you may just be doing everyone in line a huge favor, and the store clerk may even reward you by letting you move up to the front for your good deed.

The Disinterested Girlfriend
One of my favorite specimens, and also the most honest and uninhibited person in the whole line. This poor lass is usually an innocent bystander sucked into her boyfriend's world, coming with him to a "party" expecting music and dancing and instead getting nerds and hypothermia. As her boyfriend chatters away with everyone else about how "totally awesome" the game you are about to partake in is going to be, she is glancing about warily, wondering if there are any bars nearby she could slip into and start looking for a guy who has never even heard of an Xbox or PlayStation. If you engage her in conversation prepare to be entertained, as she'll likely tell you all about how she told her boyfriend he needed to stop playing video games so they could spend more time together, and now she' here. She'll also gladly give you her opinion on any other person in line with descriptors ranging from "smelly," and "gross," to "kind of cute in a helpless puppy sort of way." If you can't line up next to the center of attention, try and find this girl, as she will keep you entertained all night long.

The Cosplayer
For this individual, every day is Halloween and every launch party a chance to strap on a sword, power armor or storm trooper costume and go to work. This is a unique line member, as there is equal chance this soul will be male or female. This can be explained by the fact that guys are huge geeks, while girls just love playing dress up at any age. The best cosplayers are the ones that show up in a group and who stay in character all night long. You can learn a lot about Lord of the Rings mythology simply by standing next to "Aragorn" as he protects "Frodo" from "Ring Wraiths." Or you could get very irritated by the person's insistence on pretending to be someone they aren't. In any case, cosplayers are usually carrying a weapon, and since they're crazy enough to dress up like a medieval swordsman they probably know how to wield the steel, so it's best just to be polite and enjoy the insanity.

The Insider
This person is usually a journalist or wannabe developer trying to break into the industry. While often a font of knowledge, this individual also has the capacity to irritate by name-dropping or bringing up info on some really insignificant Japanese game that no one has played and thus you don't care about. This person will also spend a good part of the evening telling you all about how they once met Adam Sessler and what a "totally cool guy" he is, all the while assuring you that Morgan Webb is a bitch who doesn't know anything about video games. Really, this poor soul just wants you to humor him and vindicate his poor life choices that led him to write about video games on his unknown blog rather than getting a "real job" like his parents wanted him to. Chances are if he's standing in line with you to get a game, he's not that famous, therefore you don't have to worry about being wowed by his stories.

The Frazzled Store Clerk
While not technically a member of the line, this is the employee who drew the short straw and has to deal with the cavalcade of weirdness that has invaded his store. He starts off cheery enough, engaging in a bit of small talk with the first few people in line, but by the time he gets to about the hundredth straight transaction involving the exact same game fatigue sets in, and his true disdain for his job starts to show through. At this point, if otaku kid tries to show him an anime clip the clerk is likely to just take the PSP/iPod/Circuit City backpack and fling it across the store, and if the overly affectionate couple don't knock it off long enough to break out the wallet and then get out of the store, he may introduce a rolled up strategy guide to the sides of their heads. It is best in this case to simply take your game and go, for your own safety.

That is but a small sampling of what you can expect when you show up at your local game store to enjoy a midnight launch party. Remember one thing though; these are our people, and we must love them unconditionally, for we are them. So what personalities have we left out? Which one are you? Share with us your launch party tales in the comments section.

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