Rumor has it that Mike Gallagher, new head of the ESA, is the reason for its languid downfall. Today, he's giving a keynote address at E3, which could alleviate our fears -- or catapult them to new heights. Read on to find out.

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1:35 PM: It's over. Wow, that was pointless. No discussion of any real issues. It was so candy-coated, I was surprised he wasn't wearing a purple suit and being played by Johnny Depp.

1:33 PM: We need to work together ad stand against those who oppose us, etc. Didn't I hear this speech in Braveheart?

1:30 PM: Hey guys, am I allowed to cheat at liveblogging? 'Cause I'm pretty sure the little book they gave us outlines most of the speech.

1:29 PM: "Let's unite to support our policy interests." He's name-dropping Texas again. I'm so proud.

1:28 PM: "Help parents."

1:27 PM: "Welcome in new gamers." Wait, like, girls and stuff?

1:26 PM: "Don't forget the core customer." 'Kay.

1:26 PM: Ok, he's issuing challenges to the industry.

1:24 PM: Also, I guess the verdict is in. The ESA says it's spelled "video game" -- not "videogame or "viddya game."

1:23 PM: Oh hey, he's talking about that little booklet, "Essential Facts About The Computer And Video Game Industry." He's relating to my experience!

1:20 PM: Er, it didn't just become 1:00 AM. Sorry about that.

1:18 PM: Thus far, he could've given this speech about five years ago, changed up a few words, and it'd be no different. C'mon G-man, show us that you're ready to tackle the issues facing this industry.

1:15 PM: Nursing home residents apparently enjoy video games more so than bridge or bingo. Hooray?

1:14 PM: Now he's going on about the diversity of gaming's audience. For some reason, there's a screenshot of Halo on the projector.

1:12 PM: Finally getting started. Gallagher thinks that, when we're old and wrinkled, and looking back on our lives, now will be the time we declare as video gaming's great comeuppance.